Words of courage for the shining suns !

"It saddens me to see people with such sad eyes and fake smiles to cover them up, not because they are sad, but because they wage war on what they are, covering that with lies, fake perceptions and ideas of what others want to see , so many good people with rotten hearts tearing down people that are searching themselves.
That being said, I’d prefer to be what I am, a bad person with a good heart. words are followed by actions, hand are to be dirty in order to make things happen, to make things right to at least try and make people more than what they are at the present time, because no one is alone, we are all together in this world and we are only as strong as our weakest link.
So be strong, honour your word and  your deeds, and if someone sees past the sadness, if that someone as set themselves to make you a stronger link, be it !” - The Shadow Chronicles, the inner war !

Death !

" Death comes to us all, one once said, unfortunately no one said how long it would take, some man wished it was at sunrise, others at sundown, as far as I go, I would like for it to be at the midnight sun " - The Shadow's diary

Crappy mood

I was going to write something about how much I want to vanish form this planet, might be the whiskey talking, but, I really fucking want my fight and be done with it, this feeling inside is killing me, reminds me that I prefer physical pain so much more, than a broken heart, constantly being stepped on by the person I still love !

Lost !

If you do not have a heart, here, take mine, it’s broken as hel , maybe you can mend it, if you do , keep it, hearts give too much pain for those who live by it !
I never knew it could be possible for someone to be like this, I never knew I could end up like this, why me?
Why did I risk and gave it all?
I should know better than to be vulnerable to the hexes of the heart, blinded, hopeful, anxious for people to be as one, when they themselves are split in two and lost in the void of life.
So to I have become lost but upon myself. a demigod, bound to his word, to its deeds, in a world that as long forgotten what this is.
An I keep reminding myself of my brother, and all that he teached me, he was the strong one, I still wished I was the one going, I so lost around here, and there are no fights to have a decent death anymore !

Tales of lost souls

"You shine so bright little sun, as bright as one can see
 blinded people are to what hides under the skin
Blinded you too are upon yourself
the abyss is great and fearless
fear one should embrace to search one self inside it
the abyss is great and fearless
one goes in broken in pieces
one comes out united
to die and reborn
until you reach your purpose "  - Eyes cannot Lie to Shadows , Tales of Lost Souls

Days

Bad feelings in the morning, waking up, shivering with cold sweats and throwing up , feeling like someone is crushing your chest, and in your mind you just want to listen to someone’s voice to feel better and no one picking up. What a great way to start the day !

words are words !

I want to write, since my mind is a mess, this will be a very weird post !

I have come to a point in life where I know what I want, and it is so hard to get it, things I thought could not be broken any-more, got broken, my heart is shattered to say the least and I fear that my soul is too.

Yet I sacrifice it  all in the hopes things do turn out for the best, because I know there is feelings in the other side.

This being said, I have been probably drunk for the great part of days ,  its starting to not make that much of an effect any longer, my brain just keeps going, it is a problem of people that live with their hearts I suppose , my body tends to complain, seems like booze and toasts aren't much for lunch, but usually I'm not in the mood for much more than that.

Sleep has become an issue, I don't want to dream, I do, but I don't, for more than 10 years I had this dream where I couldn't see the persons face, until I did, and now it won't go away, life is a strange thing to be in. I have also started to have these things that haven't happened to me in years, I never knew what was it, I just froze up and my mind goes elsewhere, to where I do not know, I wished I could know, maybe it is a sign that all this fatigue I feel about life has come to its peak, that it is time to join my brother in the afterlife, I have a different life perspective I know, and most people do not agree, then again most people have lost value in word, and in actions to prove them.

I am not the man I was, I am more, yet I feel empty !

I have started to make drawings upon myself, I do not know why, but it reminds me of some death rituals, I have lost hand on myself I guess, do not know even why I am writing any more, words are words, but actions, they are all, and there is a growing feeling inside of me that I must search for the one action that will end it all, I need a fight to die in, a good death, one with meaning, one that will let me be remembered by , and of all that I am !

I am tired of being the strong person, yet I still try to be it !