sexta-feira, 8 de agosto de 2014

Unexpected blow !

Had a great day, and I should be happy, but I’m not, even after I spent time with friends, I look at them and I see them getting together with someone, I’m happy for them, I really am, specially for a friend wich is an ex of mine, she changed a lot, enough to be on a long distance relationship and it’s working, and I’m happy as fuck for her and the boy, which I know and is a pretty stand up guy, and I’m also happy for some other friends that started dating and even tough had a rough start they are A ok now, so I guess in a way I’m as much happy as I am sad.

Maybe it’s because I’m turning 31 soon and am pretty much alone, or because I ended up heartbroken and wronged, ironically by the person I consider to be the one, even tough if she haven’t found herself yet and therefore has a tendency to hurt people, and even with me still in a way upset with it, feeling love towards her, yes, I still feel it, call me a fool, but it’s not a decision, its the human me talking, and the human me follows the heart !

I’m pretty much ok with myself, I guess, not that I consider myself a great catch, but, this loneliness is getting the best of me, loneliness or the inability to share my life with someone, you know, going out, showing things you like, doing crazy things just for a smile and a kiss and happy eyes.
And yes I’m old school, Ill buy flowers and jewellery, and buy tickets for concerts and dance in the middle of the street.

And this all comes to mind when I least expect, memories and feelings, and it pulls you down, with a smile because in a way there are good things, but mainly with tears and a huge feeling of being crushed !

I guess that is all for now, writing eases this bad feeling, and if you are reading this, please be happy even if I don’t know you, do your best everyday to be happy, be more than you are now and smile !

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