It is a hard thing not to drink when you feel yourself stuck between hope and despair, the brain wont shut down, and you know drinking will make it stop, eventually.
The other option would be to call someone, but I said I wouldn't bother, and probably it is for the best not to do it, regardless of how shitty I feel !
Uncertainty takes over, and it is so weird to deal with it, so I write and I write, but words without actions are so empty, and maybe I should start taking some actions, but to which direction I do not know !
My mind is cloudy, my body starts to show signs of wear, I am slowly slipping away to an unknown place.
The waiting is a crossroad, hope on the right or doom on the left ? Ironically sometimes I feel like I am the one making this question more than other people should do to themselves.
I need a drink and your hand on my chest !
I hate myself for being like this why can't I be like those other guys that dont give a fuck for anything and just step on other peoples life?
This feeling of having no purpose, that my time has come increases rapidly from day to day, and I say Im OK to so many people and Im not, and I smile and make jokes, and in my head I tell my heart to keep quiet, no one must know, even if they do know , what could they do?
I feel so tired.
I need to feel the ocean in my body, I need it to take me away from my heart and my mind, to leave my soul to those who might want it !
I became a Shadow !
Sem comentários:
Enviar um comentário