no, yes, maybe !

Feeling depressed as fuck, I guess sometimes things catch up to you !

Tempestade !

O amor é um mar revolto, cheio de loucura e perdição, onde nada sabe melhor que naufragar e estar á beira do afundar da alma para num esforço final nadar para a superfície  como se não houvesse amanhã e respirar o tão desejado sentimento renovado.

Penso que só se vence a tempestade se a tivermos dentro de nós, e ela pede mais e mais, não nos deixando nunca sair da mesma,  não sei que seria de mim sem a mesma no fim de tudo.

Cada vez mais me perco nela é certo e cada vez mais me quero perder, na tempestade e na pessoa que a cria dentro de mim. Talvez um dia ponha aqui foto do sorriso que ela me dá e um gráfico com o batimento cardíaco depois de a ver no meio de uma multidão a aproximar-se de mim e a abraçar-me !

Leaving myself to rot !

Can´t sleep, so I decided to stand in front of the pc and stare at a somewhat special photo and a bottle of whisky, and no, I don't get drunk to forget, I actually get drunk to remember, and yes it is a weird thing, but sometimes you just have to feel like crap !

But the truth is that I don't want to feel like crap, I just wanted to be happy, and I want to be happy with the person in the photo, and that won't be happening any time soon, It is a karmic issue I guess, I have no idea, but the thing that bother me the most is her inability to see herself , and all the good in her.

This actually makes me feel like I failed somewhere, even though I probably didn't, then again what do I know of life, I guess nothing at all !

Shit, I'm not making any fucking sense, I'm just sad as fuck, my mind cannot comprehend such decisions, and the lack of vision of oneself, but I most respect them, some might say that is the ultimate form of love, when you let go , I might say that I agree, but its fucked up, and that's that.

What is there worthy enough to fight for in this world these days?

Quoting some lyrics from Queens of The Stone Age " I want something good to die for
To make it beautiful to live."  And I believe I found it, but she haven't found herself !

Thus my life gets torn apart, and I should have gotten used to it !

Destiny !

The more you appreciate something, the more you want it, the less you will have it, until it is lost forever !

I guess that is my destiny, to lose all that I love, and it tires me, I feel so exhausted !

Yule Update !

Hello there !

I know I haven't wrote nothing here for a while, and I'm sorry for that, but it is for a good reason,.
I have been a little busy doing some graphic work and I'm back on doing some music, which as everyone knows its probably two of the things I like to do the most, and speaking of things I like, I have been dating this beautifully gorgeous girl, I must say I'm pretty much in love, there is this constant feeling that we have met before, we just talk and talk for hours and she is a very talented artist.
For the first time I have agreed to be photographed , she can get me really comfortable in front of a camera, and that my friends and followers is a first, also I enjoy seeing her working, is it seeing her doing make up on someone, doing clothes, drawing or taking pictures, she is a very passionate person on what she does and I love her smile !

I have been eating vegetarian food too, and I must say its quite good, I wont become vegetarian, but my food choices have grown a lot, and its healthier too.

What more can I say, its Yule/X-mas, not the best time for me due to some people that died around this time some years ago, I miss them and Ill always keep them on my heart !

Oh, I'll probably start doing some airsoft (google it people), and Ill be doing some courses this next year amongst them a Design one, I'm anxious for that.

So, to all my friends thank you for being always with me, cheering me up and overall existing on my life, I wish you all the best in this festive occasion, may the gods give you all that you wish in your life's !

P.S. I got a cat, and she is growing on me, mainly because my Girlfriend has 3 and she got me to start liking them, just a bit , not too much :P

What rests beneath !

" I am afraid, not of losing my soul, but of losing my heart, what would be of me without it?
How would I live if I was not to hear you sweet voice everyday and to feel your soft skin against mine ?
I do not know, and to think of it scares me, it makes me shiver through the very fabric of which I am made, for deep down, behind this weary face, inside this scarred body in the middle of this darkness that made me a Demigod, for you, my heart, I am nothing more than a man ." - What rests beneath, the Demigod chronicles!

Blue veins !

I have been quite away from here lately, but with a good reason !

My heart has been taken by surprise, and it has been a motivating experience, not so much on the writing but more on the leather working/crafts part, and I've been enjoying this a lot.

It is a weird thing when there is this persistent feeling that you and the other person have met before and have been together for longer than you really are, but I love it, and her smile is the most beautiful smile ever and it melts my heart and warms my soul.

I am a happy man !

P.S. sorry for the short update, its hard to write when I have these feelings inside, but deal with it :P