Yule Update !

Hello there !

I know I haven't wrote nothing here for a while, and I'm sorry for that, but it is for a good reason,.
I have been a little busy doing some graphic work and I'm back on doing some music, which as everyone knows its probably two of the things I like to do the most, and speaking of things I like, I have been dating this beautifully gorgeous girl, I must say I'm pretty much in love, there is this constant feeling that we have met before, we just talk and talk for hours and she is a very talented artist.
For the first time I have agreed to be photographed , she can get me really comfortable in front of a camera, and that my friends and followers is a first, also I enjoy seeing her working, is it seeing her doing make up on someone, doing clothes, drawing or taking pictures, she is a very passionate person on what she does and I love her smile !

I have been eating vegetarian food too, and I must say its quite good, I wont become vegetarian, but my food choices have grown a lot, and its healthier too.

What more can I say, its Yule/X-mas, not the best time for me due to some people that died around this time some years ago, I miss them and Ill always keep them on my heart !

Oh, I'll probably start doing some airsoft (google it people), and Ill be doing some courses this next year amongst them a Design one, I'm anxious for that.

So, to all my friends thank you for being always with me, cheering me up and overall existing on my life, I wish you all the best in this festive occasion, may the gods give you all that you wish in your life's !

P.S. I got a cat, and she is growing on me, mainly because my Girlfriend has 3 and she got me to start liking them, just a bit , not too much :P

What rests beneath !

" I am afraid, not of losing my soul, but of losing my heart, what would be of me without it?
How would I live if I was not to hear you sweet voice everyday and to feel your soft skin against mine ?
I do not know, and to think of it scares me, it makes me shiver through the very fabric of which I am made, for deep down, behind this weary face, inside this scarred body in the middle of this darkness that made me a Demigod, for you, my heart, I am nothing more than a man ." - What rests beneath, the Demigod chronicles!

Blue veins !

I have been quite away from here lately, but with a good reason !

My heart has been taken by surprise, and it has been a motivating experience, not so much on the writing but more on the leather working/crafts part, and I've been enjoying this a lot.

It is a weird thing when there is this persistent feeling that you and the other person have met before and have been together for longer than you really are, but I love it, and her smile is the most beautiful smile ever and it melts my heart and warms my soul.

I am a happy man !

P.S. sorry for the short update, its hard to write when I have these feelings inside, but deal with it :P

Demons !

" At the turn of the moon, Olaf the king, asked the Demigod, what is it that he eats, for he has never seen him eat food, his answer stroke both fear and hope in the heart of the king !

- Mortal friend, I feed on demons, so give me yours so I can feast tonight, and you can rejoice knowing that my hunger makes you a better man and this world a more hopeful on !

- Why hopeful ? - The king asked.

- Because only fearless people can change the course of this world !

- But shouldn't I deal with my own demons?

- Little man- the Demigod said while rising from his throne and reaching for the king's head - let me tell you a secret, never deny help, for demons can be harder than you expect, I should know because I have my own, and the battle inside never gets easier, then again, - He said while laughing- I am not a mortal man ! " - Demons, food of the Immortal soul !

I'll never know !

And here we go again, why are people afraid of being happy ? Why do they run?

Then again I do have the tendency to get drunk as fuck, so its a fuck it kind of situation I guess.
But here is the thing, running only delays the problems to the one that runs away, and to the other person, the void will kill him, its as simple as that, and words, again words, said and not followed, why?

I guess I will never know, too many whys to even understand , guess ill try to delay the booze as much as I can, but the need to get numb just crawls up me, and this little voice in my head just says "go for it, it will help", even though I know it won't !

Onwards in life !

A vida tem uma coisa certa e essa é a morte, ela por ai anda a seu tempo e a todos nos leva.

Numa semana em que esta senhora me leva gente do meu sangue por duas vezes a vida lá se encarregou de me dar algo em troca. É bom saber que posso sempre contar com os amigos seja para o que for, mas acima de tudo para animar que é isso que se precisa enquanto cá se está .

Outra coisa se precisa também e tal coisa tem tendência a aparecer nos momentos menos esperados, mas fico feliz que assim seja, aquece-me o coração e a alma saber que nem tudo está perdido neste mundo e sente-se isso em cada palavra dita, em cada olhar trocado, nos braços que se prendem á minha volta, na mão que me agarra a minha quase como que á procura de resguardo desta vida e acima de tudo no coração que se sente a bater contra o meu como se não houvesse amanhã !

E assim é, rodeado de sons estranhos que duas almas se encontram !

Rain, News and Demigods !

The rain, it hypnotizes me, countless minutes pass by and the only thing I can do is to stare at her falling down.
But the thing I miss most is to see it fall in the sea, there is this beach where I went as a kid and where I go at least once a year, and it just makes my mind go places, the simple act of sitting there and watching the rain fall in that place, and I never understood why, I reckon I never will.
How strange is this world where we cannot understand these things and yet they seem to overpower our own will, then again, maybe this is our own will and we just don't know it.

And now the news, The Demigod Chronicles writings are ongoing and it seems that Ill be able to make more sense of these loose words and compress them in one continuous readable project, or at least enough for 1 or 2 small stories for the time being, the only thing I need is someone to draw it , a harder task than I anticipated, but good things come when we least expect !

In a week or so I'll be getting new ink on my body, and there will be photos then, but there will be a part of the Hávamal in it and is one of two tattoos with these old words, I am quite anxious, mainly because every tattoo I have made has meaning and this one will have one of the strongest meanings in my life !
I have also started doing some leather work again, and it will be sold this time, so get your wallets ready, everything is handmade and unique.

I would like to thank my friends, mainly for their support on these not so good times for me, and for the new people for making me see that there are some good people out there including some that actually understand all that I write, and maybe, just maybe, the world might survive !

P.S. I'll be making some stone work too,  looking forward for its appreciation !


"-This strange fog has surrounded us sir, what are we to do ?
-Raise the bridge, close the gates and stay strong for doom is upon us.
- Should we not call him sir? Will he not come to our aid?
-Go to the walls, and look around, he is already here, he is the fog, and help has he sees it, most of the times come in dark manners!" The Fall of Vargstad

Our Blood !

Going back to my roots means to read,to remember and to act in order to regain my centre.

A Man often finds himself within himself, it is in our blood !


"Once he has won wealth enough,
A man should not crave for more:
What he saves for friends, foes may take;
Hopes are often liars. With presents friends should please each other,
With a shield or a costly coat:
Mutual giving makes for friendship,
So long as life goes well,
A man should be loyal through life to friends,
To them and to friends of theirs,
But never shall a man make offer
Of friendship to his foes. A man should be loyal through life to friends,
And return gift for gift,
Laugh when they laugh,
but with lies repay
A false foe who lies. If you find a friend you fully trust
And wish for his good-will,
exchange thoughts,
exchange gifts,
Go often to his house. If you deal with another you don't trust
But wish for his good-will,
Be fair in speech but false in thought
And give him lie for lie. Even with one you ill-trust
And doubt what he means to do,
False words with fair smiles
May get you the gift you desire. "
- Havamal

One

"You can take off one leg and still walk, you can take out one arm and still write, but take off your head or your heart and you are dead !

Curiously both of them are not often broken physically, but in the worst way possible, and mostly with words or bad decisions .

One, that is all that you need to end it all ! " - The Deconstruction of Mankind and Decaying of Souls

Paper, it lives forever !

Where to start...oh well, I'm 30 years old now and things are still weird, the day was a good one, I guess it always is when you are with good company and a good honest talk is in the air, one of the best Bday's in quite some time!

I'll be joining up more friends soon, after all, 30 is a good age to remember with the good people that are in your life.

 I've started to write things in paper again, after years of not doing so, mainly future songs, hope to get them out of paper and in to instruments as soon as possible, maybe its time to get the old writings too!

Now you might ask why did I stopped writing in paper,  if you do ask then its because you don't know paper, paper is alive in its own very peculiar way,  at the very end it holds on to the feeling you gave it when you wrote on it until the end of days, and I guess I didn't want some things to last so much !

 " A man is dead when silence is the only remembrance of all he did in life ! " - The Demigod

Fate and Paths !

Alcohol or cancer, one of these two will kill me one day !

Cancer has been in the family for generations, and is the major death cause for us, the probability of me having it is high, even so if I am to have it, I think I would not want treatment, a man's time is over when it is over.
And to be true, there is almost no purpose for me to exist, I am not saying this because of recent events, ok, maybe I am a little on the half drunk side, still I feel as if there is no purpose to me or my kind of person nowadays, there is a growing feeling inside me of being outdated and not being able to keep pace with something 's and some people.

Now, for the concerned reader, I am not thinking on the terminus of my life, I made a promise on that !

As for the alcohol, old habits are hard to die, mostly due to the way I see life or certain aspects of it, and because for me, it triggers some parts of my person that allow me to remember somethings and forget others, specially whisky.
Yes, whisky takes me places, not the best ones for most people, but even so not being the best of places, they in a strange way feel like home, a feeling that might in the long run be my end, although it would be a good thing in my perception to end this journey feeling at home.

This is not a sad entry on this blog, I see it more as a realistic one, probably more will come as things inside me change to whatever path they must change !


" War and love are never over my friend, both will torment us and leave scars that will last until the end of our days, the only thing one can do is to repair their armour after each battle, and enter the next one more relentless then before " - King Olaf on The Path of Souls

Why ?

Why?
Why not?
 Old dreams, old thoughts , new mazes, action, reaction, all seems so nonsense , such a big lack of focus on my mind right now !

The only certain thing is that the bottle still has scotch in it and the music keeps on playing, and this one thought keeps haunting my mind, the why, why wasn't I the one dying years ago, why did it had to be you ?
You were stronger, had more knowledge you were so much more of what I will never be.

Why me brother ? I would give my soul to trade with you right now.

I know you always liked to test me, and deep down I know that this is that ultimate test, to live, but you know me, I never liked to fight what I could not see, I feel out of purpose, with no objective, this is very frustrating and I feel that I am reaching my limit .

You once said to me that a man that fights for nothing is as good as dead, so you tell me, what is it worth fighting for nowadays? Because I see no more reason to fight for nothing !

I wished time could go back and you could be here to answer me !

The long way home !

And when everything else fails, and people lose the ability to see themselves, others and the effects of their actions, the only path to follow then is the one that leads to your roots, for they will always be there, binding you to who you are, who you were and who you will become !

It is a long way home, specially when that home is in our heart and our blood !

Changing Natures !

Some things just hurt, I mean it, specially when they break a part of you, and you just can't understand why !

It is as if the one that broke that part of you actually never felt nothing, mainly because you are mourning for it and they are not, and it is in these moments that I would give my soul to be as I was years ago and I wouldn't be feeling shit either.

There is a huge mix of liking my most recent me, and wanting to rescue the old one, that same old me that hold on to the concept that we only learn by suffering, and he was right we do, but it would be much less harder to learn with my options than from other people's options.


My most recent me though, seems to be more forgiving, I would even risk saying more compassionate, which in turn ends up just making me feel worse I suppose, because it is a change on my nature !

Strangely I can't stop admiring  how such options can demoralize a person, words that can make your body hurt and your mind to revolve on a never ending spiral of doubt and woe.


Even on their words humans are true to their nature, I wonder when will they ever change it !?

Sós !

A vida é estranha, mas acabamos sempre a deitar na cama que fazemos, é um facto comprovado .

E aparentemente tal facto comprovou-se comigo também, não que não o mereça, porque mereço e tenho total noção disso apenas acho que não o merecia depois de ir contra princípios meus para ser um pouco mais feliz. Mas e dai talvez não me esteja no destino ser feliz, talvez, e apenas só me esteja destinado a sensação de o ser .

Pior ainda que a sensação de ser feliz, seja a sensação de se amar ou de se ser amado, acima de tudo porque baixamos as nossas defesas, e, que somos nós sem elas ? Que somos nós senão seres sofredores, carentes, insaciáveis crentes a procurar adoração de outro igual a nós, a verdadeira pergunta nisto tudo será onde anda esse igual ?

Esse que vai contra as suas regras, que queira mais que uma sensação de ser feliz, que baixe as suas defesas , que sofra, peça por algo e seja tão crente em nós quanto nós neles !

Talvez não ande, talvez já tenha andado, talvez nunca venha a andar por onde nos andamos, e nada mais podemos nós fazer senão seguir o nosso caminho tal como viemos ao mundo e como dele sairemos, sós !

Death, greatness and immortality !

Some people may argue that the stars and the heavens above are the ultimate quest for mankind, I couldn't disagree more !
Nothing haunts the soul of a man greater than its own life, or the end of it, what lays there, after that last breath, after the spark in your eyes ceases to exist.
I have dedicated some time pondering such question, mainly due to have been so close to death so many times, and, like any other man, I to this day have reached no conclusion, it is a one way trip and it is not yet my time to take it. Thus I can only think on how shall I go on this last journey, most people want it to be in their sleep, but I think that such departure is very much unworthy of a person, no great man has ever died silently, so why should I ?

But you may be asking yourselves, what makes a man great ?
That, my dear readers, is in my opinion the easiest task ever, look around you it is as simple as that !

The one single man that in my life has proven that someone is great just by looking around himself was my grandfather, he had that kind of aura that only some people have, he was a fire-fighter all is life since he was 11 until is death, got to be chief, lead men and women to fight fires, risked his own life several times, and was distinguished for it, got  streets named after him, and while doing this he was also a welder and a nurse, and refused to be the goalkeeper of a major football club when he was younger so he could dedicate himself to save other peoples life's , and this is what makes a man great, not the medals, or the streets with your name, its the admiration of others and the memories that will always be on the people that where touched by such persons, this my friends is immortality itself !

And this is what I want the most, a glorious death and immortality , what comes after is meaningless compared to how you obtain such things !

Wrong turns lead to right destiny's

So, after being sick and with fever (and let us just say me and fever we don't get along, went two times to a ice bath due to it and a third time I got 45º in the middle of nowhere aka my fathers village, maybe I got brain damage from it and that is why I am like I am, who knows?), time comes for recovery, not only of the body and the mind, but maybe of the soul and definitely of the time lost away from the person I love.

Maybe I got sick as lesson for a mistake I almost done recently, on the other hand I also done something for the first time in my life due to the same event, and I must say I would be a jackass if I would have did what I always do, I'm pretty happy with the final decision/outcome, and I most definitely feel that I am with the right person.

I might even say I have found my Priestess Of Mars !

Paths and Fear !

"The problem of running away from something is that you create another path with its own set of problems, therefore one day you will have not one, but two sets of problems presented to you, for they have a tendency to catch up to us eventually.

You might see them as giants, unbeatable foes in a phase of your life you feel that you wont be able to take them head on, but what is it that makes us ready to go toe to toe with such things?
The only answer it the things themselves, look at us, we learn with error,trying and failing, in such way we learn and forge our own selves, we make the very fabric that makes us who we are.

So, go at them, know that no man ever faced their adversities without fear, by the contrary, it was fear and the will to end the source of such that drove them. They cried, they bled , they did wrong before they did right, and, at the very end they emerged glorious.

No one is ever the same after such battle, the scars remind you of that, also they will  remind you that you are now more than you ever were" - Tales of the Wanderer in the fog !

Strangeness

A strange feeling shadows down on me, a shadow upon a shadow !

What is  not strange is the probability of said shadow to be full of ill intentions, where is light when you need it ?

Notification !

Sorry for not updating in a long time, but I fell in love and I'm pretty much focused on it ;) , so all writings are off until I feel more like in to it !

Happy me is happy !

Well, isn't life strange, just when I had the idea I'd be in my corner someone pops out and gets me all happy and wanting more.

I feel good, and that's well...good , I feel more motivated, specially after seeing her face when she opened my gift, who would have said that my geekiness would make someone smile like that. I am now officially happy , so yeah, I got writers block a little when I'm like this, so this small update will be this small.

Be happy people, be happy !

Path's

"Every Demigod has its own very unique ability and skill set, and no , I will not tell you what are the ones I possess.

But I will tell you this, do not fear, for fear is nothing more that doubts of yourself in yourself, learn more of who you are and  those doubts will disappear, you will also know more of others the more you know of yourself.
And as of this matter, you will see that are several types of people, but very few can tell what type they are, keep in mind to  always be what you are, either for the good or the bad, for the bad is also necessary in life, and even it can do good.

Remember, sometimes those who seem lost are not lost at all, they might just be in a strange path, usually it will be on those paths that you will come to find your essence, you abilities and your skill sets.

May the raven be upon you always and the wolfs by your side !" - Magnus Soulburners memories on the Demigod's Path !

Unknown

Sometimes the thing that makes you smile for a minute comes from the great unknown, I like the unknown more by the day !

The Forgotten Balance !

"From Ymir's dead body, Odin created the world. Ymir's blood was the sea; his flesh, the earth; his skull, the sky; his bones, the mountains; his hair, the trees. The new Ymir-based world was Midgard. Ymir's eyebrow was used to fence in the area where mankind would live."

This is the creation of the world we know according to the old Norse beliefs, and I cannot stop thinking on how they understood the world as a living thing so much better than we do nowadays.

It seems humanity lost their awareness that the planet is alive, for it is us and we are it !

These have become strange times, times of need and greed, where kinsman turn on each other to obtain approval of strangers and feelings become cold as winter, but unlike it, this brings no joy.

Yet maybe this will be a turning point, a crossroad for us to decide either to continue like this or to change path, doing whatever it costs to regain balance !

The great void !

I was once told that each man carries some emptiness inside himself, a void, and warnings where made to never go there for I would get lost.

Yet I must ask myself if this emptiness is not just a place that needs to be explored, and like so many other places, to have a light shed upon it, and if it is a place of darkness or light, of good or evil, then it is what it is, and at the end you can only be more than you are if you accept what is inside of you, whatever that might be !

Whispers

"I am and always be nothing, for nothing is everywhere and listens to everything " - Whispers of the western winds